幽默英语笑话带翻译

　　从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面学习啦小编为大家带来幽默英语笑话带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!

　　幽默英语笑话带翻译1

　　一个小男孩非常想要一百美元买一辆自行车，但是祈祷了两个星期也没有结果。于是，他决定给上帝写一封信要这一百美元。当邮局收到这封收信人为“美国，上帝”的信后，他们决定把它寄给美国总统。总统很重视，也很感动。他命令他的秘书寄给个小男孩五美元纸钞。总统认为这对于一个小男孩来说应该是一笔大钱了。这个小男孩收到这五美元后非常高兴，又坐下来给上帝写了一封感谢信，信中写道:

　　A little boy wanted one hundred dollar for a bicycle very badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA，they decided to send it to the president. The President was so impressed，touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a five bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted wish the five-dollar bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:

　　亲爱的上帝:

　　Dear Lord，

　　非常感谢你寄给我的钱。可是我发现，由于某种原因您通过华盛顿寄给我的钱，像往常一样，那些奇怪的人扣走了九十五美元。

　　Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted ninety-five dollars.

　　罗杰

　　Love,Roger

　　幽默英语笑话带翻译2

　　In the army a company of soldiers decided to have some fun with their company cook, a short, fat, very un-martial young man. So every morning before he woke up, one of them would defecate into his boot. The amazing thing was that the cook accepted this treatment silently. Every morning he would clean out his boot and go to work as if nothing was wrong.

　　军队里的一个连的士兵决定捉弄捉弄他们连的炊事员，一个又矮又胖又弱小的年轻人。就这样，每天早上在他睡醒之前，一个士兵会往他的靴子里大便。令人吃惊的是这个炊事员平静地接受了这种待遇。每天早上他都会弄干净他的靴子然后若无其事地去工作。

　　After several weeks of this, the soldiers began to tire of the game; it wasn't very much fun because the cook never reacted, and they were beginning to feel guilty as well. So they sent a delegation to apologize to him and promise to mend their ways. The cook heard them out, and then said, "You are going to stop shitting in my boots? Fine, then I will stop pissing in your coffee.”

　　就这样过了几个星期，士兵们开始厌烦了这种游戏。因为那个炊事员从来没有任何反应，使得这种捉弄根本没那么有意思，也让他们觉得有些内疚。所以，他们派了一个代表去向那个炊事员道歉并保证以后不再那么做了。当那个炊事员听他们说出了真相后说:“你们真的不往我的靴子里大便了?那好吧，那我也不再往你们的咖啡里小便了。”

　　幽默英语笑话带翻译3

　　An American tourist was riding in a taxi in Israel. As the taxi approached a red light, the tourist was shocked to see the driver drive straight through without even slowing down. Surprised as he was, he didn’t say anything, feeling himself a "guest" and not wanting to make waves.

　　一个美国游客在以色列打了一辆出租车。使这个美国游客震惊的是，当出租车开到红灯底下的时候，司机根本没有减速就直着冲了过去。虽然他很吃惊，但他什么也没说。他觉得自己是个游客不应该找麻烦。

　　The trip continued without event until the next intersection. This time the light was green and，to the American' s dismay, the cab driver brought the vehicle to a grinding halt. Unable to contain his astonishment, he turns to the driver: "Listen,” he says ,“ when you went through the red light, I didn't say anything. But, why, in heaven’s name，are you stopping at a green light?!”

　　一切都很顺利，直到下一个十字路口。这回是绿灯，可让美国人惊愕的是那个司机踩刹车停了下来。他再也憋不住了，就问司机:“我问你，刚才你闯红灯我什么都没说，可这回是绿灯为什么你却停了下来?”

　　The Israeli driver looks at him as if the American was deranged: "Are you crazy?!” he shouts. "The other guy has a red light一do you want to get us killed?!”

　　那个以色列司机看着那美国人，惊讶的喊道:“你疯了吗?另一个司机现在正要闯红灯，难道你想找死吗?”

　　幽默英语笑话带翻译4

　　Sam and a priest are driving one day and by a freak accident，have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished，but amazingly，neither Sam nor the cleric has a scratch on.

　　一天，山姆和一个神父都在开车，发生了一起反常的事故，他们俩的车头对头猛撞到一起。两辆车全毁了，但是意外的是俩个人都毫发未伤。

　　After the crawl out of their cars，Sam sees the priest’s collar and says，"So you’re a priest. I am Sam. Just look at our cars. There is nothing left, yet we are here unhurt. This must be a sign from God!”

　　他们从各自的车里爬出来后，山姆看到神父的领子说:“原来你是神父，我叫山姆。看看我们的车，全完了。然而我们还在这里，没有受伤。这一定是上帝的旨意!”

　　Sam is looking at his car and exclaims, "And look at this! Here’s another miracle! My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine did not break. Surely，God wants us to drink this wine and to celebrate our good fortune.”

　　山姆看着他的车说:“快来看看这儿，还有一个奇迹!我的车全毁了，但这瓶酒还没有碎。上帝肯定是想让我们喝掉它来庆祝我们的好运。

　　The priest nods in agreement. Sam hands the bottle to the priest，who drinks half of the bottle and hands the bottle back to Sam. Sam takes the bottle and immediate1y puts the cap on，then hands it back to the priest. The priest，baffled, asks，"Aren’t you having any，Sam?” Sam replies, "Nah...I think I'll wait for the police.”

　　神父点头同意了。山姆把酒交给神父，神父喝了一半然后又把酒还给山姆。他接过酒瓶迅速把瓶盖盖上，又把它给了神父。神父不解地问:“难道你不喝吗?山姆?”山姆回答:“嗯，我想我还是等着警察来吧。”

　　以上就是学习啦小编为大家带来的幽默英语笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!

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