精选爆笑幽默英语笑话

　　“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面学习啦小编为大家带来精选爆笑幽默英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!

　　精选爆笑幽默英语笑话：斯威夫特博士与小厮

　　A wealthy old lady who lived near Dr. Swift used to send him presents occasionally by her servant. Dr. Swift took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his trouble. One day as Swift was busy with his writing, the boy rushed into his room, knocked some books out of their place, threw his parcel on the desk and said, my mistress has sent you two of her rabbits.

　　在斯威夫特博士家附近，有一位富有的老妇人，她时常打发仆人给他送礼物。斯威夫特博士接受她的礼物，但从不给小厮任何酬谢。一天，斯威夫特博士正忙着写东西，小厮冲进了他的房间，把书一扒拉，将一个包裹扔在书桌上，说道：我的女主人送给你两只兔子。

　　Swift turned round and said, My boy, that is not the way to deliver your parcel(包裹) . Now, you sit in my chair, watch my way of doing it and learn your lesson.

　　斯威夫特转过身来说：孩子，包裹可不是这样送法呀。现在，你坐在我的椅子上，看看我是怎么送的，并要记取这个教训。

　　The boy sat down. Swift went out, knocked on his door and waited. The boy said, Come in. The doctor entered, walked to his desk and said, If you please sir, my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in her fields.

　　小厮坐了下来，斯威夫特走出去，敲了敲门，等待回音。小厮说进来。博士进了门，走到桌旁说道：先生，我的女主人向您致以亲切的问候，并希望您收下这些兔子，这是她儿子今天早晨在地里打的。

　　The boy answered, Thank you, my boy, Give your mistress and her son my thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings for yourself.

　　小厮回答说：谢谢你，我的孩子。向你的女主人和她的儿子致谢，谢谢他们的关心。这两个先令是送给你本人的。

　　The Doctor laughed, and after that, Swift never forgot to give the boy his tip.

　　博士笑了，打那以后，斯威夫特从没忘记送小费给小厮。

　　精选爆笑幽默英语笑话：你叫什么名字?

　　A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train. He had never seen them before,so he began:My name is Stone, and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble. Don't try any tricks with me, and then we'll get on well together

　　有一位很严厉的军官在对一群交由他训练的新兵训话。他以前从没见过这群新兵，于是他开始自我介绍：我的名字叫Stone(石头)，事实上，我甚至比石头更强硬。这就是我为什么要告诉你们我名字的原因。不要试图对我玩什么花招，这样我们就能很好相处了。

　　Then he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name. Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly, he said, and don't forget to call me 'sir'.

　　接着他开始走到每个士兵前面问他们的名字。说大声点，让每个人都能听清楚。另外，不要忘记称呼我为长官。他说。

　　Each soldier told him his name, unitl he came to the last one. This man remained silent, and so Captain Stone shouted at him, When I ask you a question, answer it! I'll ask you again: What's you name, soldier?

　　每个士兵都对他说了自已的名字。他走到最后一位士兵面前时，这个士兵保持着沉默。于是Stone队长对他喊叫，当我问你问题的时候，要回答!我再问一遍，你的名字，士兵?

　　The soldier was very unhappy, but at last he replied. My name is Stonebreaker, sir. He said nervously.

　　那个新兵很不高兴，但最后他回答了。我的名字是Stonebreaker(碎石机)，长官。他紧张的说。

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