幽默爆笑英语笑话

　　“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面学习啦小编为大家带来幽默爆笑英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!

　　幽默爆笑英语笑话：遇到第九颗葡萄的命运

　　Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial.

　　三个在森林迷路的人被食人族抓住了。食人族首领对他们说，如果他们能通过一项游戏，他们就能活命。

　　The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

　　测验的第一关是，去森林里采摘属于同一品种的10个水果。所以，这三个人分散开来去采摘水果。

　　The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."

　　第一个人回来对食人族首领说：“我带回来了10个苹果。”首领然后向他说明了游戏规则：“你必须要把这10个苹果塞进你的屁眼里，同时脸上不能有任何表情，否则就吃了你。

　　The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

　　第一个苹果被塞进去了…。到第二个的时候，因为疼痛他躲开了，所以，他被吃掉了。

　　The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy.

　　第二个人带着10个葡萄回来了。当首领向他说明游戏规则后，他想，对他来说这应该很容易。

　　So he proceeded: 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the 9th berry he burst out in laughter and was killed immediately.

　　他开始了，一个，两个，三个， ……。当到第九个葡萄的时候，他大笑了起来，所以，他马上被吃了。

　　Weeks later, the first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?"

　　几星期过去了，第一个人和第二个人在天堂碰面了。第一个人问第二个人：“你当时干嘛笑啊，你都快成功了?”

　　"I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

　　第二个人回答说：“我忍不住啊，我看见第三个人拿着10个菠萝回来了。”

　　幽默爆笑英语笑话：医生的建议

　　A much worried patient walked into doctor's office asking for help:

　　候诊室里坐着一位忧心忡忡的病人，当医生传唤他时，

　　"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday!"

　　他满面愁容的说：“医生，怎么办?我昨天误喝下一瓶汽油!”

　　"Oh, Don't worry! All you have to remember is not to smoke in the next few days!"

　　医生回答他說：“喔..没关系啦!记得这几天不要抽烟!”

　　幽默爆笑英语笑话：最新报道

　　While taking photos of a bear eating fish in the forest, two journalists found the annoyed beast turned around to chase them.

　　两个记者在森林中拍摄熊吃鱼的镜头，忽然熊发现了他们并向他们冲过来，两个记者拼命的跑，最后都要跑不动了。

　　In running, one journalist said to the other:"Can't run any more! What should we do?" "No idea. But one of us will have his photo on the headline (tomorrow)." replied his colleague.

　　一个记者说：“我们怎么办?”这时另一个记者对他的同伴说：“我也不知道，不过我们中的一个要上头条了……”

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