幽默简单英语笑话

　　“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面学习啦小编为大家带来幽默简单英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!

　　幽默简单英语笑话1

　　Lan and Fred were boys. They were both twelve years old, and they were in the same class in their school. Last Friday afternoon they had a fight in class, and their teacher was very angry. He said to both of them, “Stay here after the lessons this afternoon, and write your names a thousand times.” After the last lesson, all the other boys went home, but Lan and Fred stayed in the classroom with their teacher and begin writing their names.

　　Then Fred began crying.

　　The teacher looked at him and said,” Why are you crying, Fred?”

　　“Because his name’s Lan May, and mine’s Frederick Hollingsworth,” Fred said.

　　易恩和富雷得都是男孩，他们都十二岁了。他们在学校里是同班同学。上周五下午他们在学校里打了一架。为此老师很生气。老师对他们说：“下午下课后留在着把你们的名字写一千遍。”

　　最后一节课下课，所有的学生都回家了。只有易恩和富雷得被他们的老师留在教师里抄写他们的名字。

　　接着富雷得哭了起来。

　　老师看了看他问：“富雷得，你为什么要哭呢?”

　　“因为他的名字是Lan May, 而我的名字确是Frederick Hollingsworth，”富雷得回答道。

　　幽默简单英语笑话2

　　One morning a fox sees a cock. He think,“This is my breakfast.”

　　He comes up to the cock and says, “I know you can sing very well. Can you sing for me?” The cock is glad. He closes his eyes and begins to sing. The fox sees that and caches him in his mouth and carries him away.

　　The people in the field see the fox. They cry, “Look, look! The fox is carrying the cock away.” The cock says to the fox, “Mr. Fox, do you understand? The people say you are carrying their cock away. Tell them it is yours. Not theirs.”

　　The fox opens his mouth and says, “The cock is mine, not yours.” Just then the cock runs away from the fox and flies into the tree.

　　一天早上，一只狐狸看到了一只公鸡。他想：这是我的早餐。

　　他朝公鸡走来，对他说：“我知道，你能唱得非常好听，你能唱给我听么?”公鸡很高兴。他闭上眼睛开始唱歌。狐狸看到这些抓住它放到自己的嘴里走了。

　　在田地里的人们看到了狐狸。大喊大叫：“看，看!狐狸抓住公鸡逃走了。”公鸡对狐狸说：“狐狸先生，你能理解么?人们认为你叼走了公鸡。告诉他们这是你的，不是他们的。”

　　狐狸张开她的嘴说：“公鸡是我的，不是你们的。”就在那时，公鸡跑到了树底下。

　　幽默简单英语笑话3

　　A film crew was on location deep in the desert.One day an old Indian went up to the director and said,"Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained.

　　A week later,the Indian went up to the director and said,"Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.

　　"This Indian is incredible," said the director.He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.

　　However,after several successful predictions,the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.

　　Finally the director sent for him."I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director,"and I'm depending on you.What will the weather be like?"

　　The Indian shrugged his shoulders."Don't know," he said."Radio is broken."

　　一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处工作.一天,一个印度老人到导演跟前告诉导演说"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.

　　一周后,印度人又来告诉导演说,"明天有风暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.

　　"印度人真神,"导演说.他告诉秘书雇佣该印度人来预报天气.

　　几次预报都很成功.然后,接下来的两周,印度人不见了.

　　最后,导演派人去把他叫来了."我明天必须拍一个很大的场景,"导演说,"这得靠你了.明天天气如何啊?"

　　印度人耸了耸肩."我不知道,"印度人说,"收音机坏了."

　　幽默简单英语笑话4

　　A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.

　　For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.

　　In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.

　　"What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief.

　　"Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?"

　　有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼。于是，村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽。

　　猎手躺着等了几个晚上，但狮子一直没有出现。最后，他要求村长杀只羊然后把头皮给他。把羊皮披在身上后，猎人到草原上去等狮子。

　　半夜，村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒。他们小心地靠近后，看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。没有狮子出没的蛛丝马迹。

　　“Jonesie，怎么了?狮子在哪?”村长问。

　　“哪有狮子!”猎人怒吼道，“哪个傻瓜把公牛放出来了?”

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