英语简单幽默笑话精选

　　从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面学习啦小编为大家带来英语简单幽默笑话精选，欢迎大家阅读!

　　英语简单幽默笑话精选1

　　Mr.Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents,so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane,Mr.Johnson was very worried about accepting.Finally,however,his friend persuaded him that it was very safe,and Mr.Johnson boarded the plane.

　　His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport.Mr.Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing,so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.

　　After a minute or two he opened them again,looked out of the window of the plane,and said to his friend,"Look at those people down there.They look as small as ants,don't they?"

　　"Those are ants," answered his friend."We're still on the ground."

　　约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机,他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道.所以,有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时,约翰逊先生非常担心,不敢接受.不过,由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的,约翰逊先生终于被说服了,登上了飞机.

　　他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行.约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落,所以他吓得紧闭双眼.

　　过了一两分钟,他睁开双眼朝窗外望去,接着对朋友说道：“看下面那些人,他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小,是不是?”

　　“那些就是蚂蚁,”他的朋友答道,“我们还在地面上.”

　　英语简单幽默笑话精选2

　　One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car.

　　He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour.The chicken was still keeping up.After about a mile of running the chicken ran up a farm lane and into a barn behind an old farm house.

　　The salesman had some time to kill so he turned around and drove up the farm lane.He knocked at the door and when the farmer answered he told him what he had just seen.

　　The farmer said that he was a geneticist and had developed this breed of chicken because he,his wife and his son each like a drumstick when they have chicken and this way they only have to kill one chicken.

　　"That''s the most fantastic thing I've ever heard," said the salesman."How do they taste?"

　　"I don't know," said the farmer."We've never caught one."

　　有一天,一个旅行推销员以时速30英里的速度开车去一个小镇子,忽然他发现有一只三条腿的小鸡在他的车旁奔跑.

　　他猛踩了一下油门,时速达到了每小时50英里,可是那只小鸡依然没被他的车落下.跑了很久之后,那只小鸡穿过农场的田间小路,最后跑进了农场一间旧房子后面的鸡笼里.

　　那个旅行推销员看时间还早,就把车也开进了农场的田间小路.他敲了那间旧房子的门,并把他看到的一切都告诉了来开门的那个农场主.

　　农场主告诉旅行推销员,他是一名遗传学者,他培育出这种三条腿的鸡,是因为他和妻子,还有他们的儿子,都喜欢吃鸡腿.培育出这种三条腿的鸡,当他们全家吃鸡的时候,只需要杀死一只鸡,就可以每个人都能吃到一个鸡腿了.

　　“这是我听过最奇妙的想法了”,旅行推销员说,“它的味道怎么样?”

　　“我不知道,”农场主说,“我一次也没有抓住过.”

　　英语简单幽默笑话精选3

　　A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him.She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways.Wow,she thought,this crab is really special.I can't let him get away.So they got married immediately.

　　The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs,and got upset."What happened?" she asked." You used to walk straight before we were married."

　　"Oh,honey," he replied,"I can't drink that much every day.

　　一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹,便要娶她为妻.她注意到他走路是直着走,而不是横着走.哇!她想,这只雄蟹可真特别,我可不能让他跑了.因此他们立刻结婚了.

　　第二天,她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了.她深感不安.“你怎么了?”她问,“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的.”

　　“哦,宝贝,”他回答说,“我不可能每天都喝那么多.”

　　以上就是学习啦小编为大家带来的英语简单幽默笑话精选，希望大家喜欢!

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