简单少儿英语爆笑小笑话

　　小朋友其实有时候不开心是很容易自愈，讲个笑话就行了，小编今天就给大家分享一下英语笑话，欢迎大家收藏

　　简单少儿英语小笑话

　　Big Head

　　"All the kids make fun of me ”the boy cried to his mother, "They say I have a big head."

　　"Don't listen to them," his mother comforted him. "You have a beautiful head.Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes."

　　"Where is the shopping bag?"

　　"I haven't got one-----use your hat."

　　大脑袋

　　“所有孩子都拿我开玩笑”， 小男孩哭着和妈妈说：“他们说我脑袋大”

　　“别听他们的，”母亲安慰道：“你有一个很漂亮的脑袋。好啦，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。”

　　“购物袋在哪儿?”

　　“我没购物袋了----就用你的帽子吧。

　　英语儿童幽默笑话参考

　　Long Life

　　A man was selling medicines at a fair. At first he sold bottles of a cure for colds for just a dollar a bottle.

　　Many people wanted to buy it and the man's young assistant moved quickly through the crowd collecting money and handing out bottles of the cold cure.

　　Then, when he had a big crowd, the man held up a very small bottle.

　　“And now, ladies and gentlemen, ” he shouted. “here is the medicine you have been waiting for. The cure for old age. Drink just one bottle of this and you will live forever.”

　　“And, ladies and gentlemen,” the man continued, “I'm not going to charge you a hundred dollars a bottle for this wonderful medicine. I'm not going to charge you fifty dollars a bottle. I'm not going to charge you twenty five dollars a bottle. No, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to charge you just ten dollars a bottle. Think, my friends, for ten dollars you can live forever.”

　　Most of the people in the crowd did not believe this.

　　One person shouted, “if it will make you live forever, why don't you drink it?”

　　Then another person cried , “Yes, you look as if you're at least sixty years old. ”

　　“Thank you, sir, thank you,” the man replied, “I'm so glad you said that. My real age is three hundred and twenty nine. ”

　　The crowd laughed at this but there were still a few people who wanted to believe the man. One of them spoke to the man's assistant as she passed by. “Is that true,” he asked, “that he's three hundred and twenty-nine?”

　　“Don't ask me,” the assistant said, “I've only worked for him for a hundred and fifty years.”

　　长生不老

　　一人在集市卖药。起先他卖一美元一瓶的治感冒的药。

　　很多人想买药，那人的年轻助手迅速穿行于人群中，一边收钱，一边递药。

　　然后当围观的人多起来时，那人举起一个小瓶子。

　　“听着，女士们，先生们，”那人喊道，“这就是你们一直想要的药。

　　消除衰老的药。只吃一瓶，就会长生不老。”

　　“女士们，先生们，”那人接着说道，“对这种神奇的药，我不打算卖一瓶100美元。我不打算卖一瓶50美元，我也不打算卖一瓶25美元。我只打算卖一瓶10美元。想想吧，朋友们，只花10美元，你们就能长生不老。”

　　人群中大多数人不相信他的话。

　　一人喊道：“如果这药能使人长生不老，你为什么不吃?”

　　接着另一人叫道：“是哇，你看上去至少60岁。”

　　“谢谢，先生，谢谢，”那人回答，“我很高兴你这么说。我的实际年龄是329岁。”

　　听到他的话，人群中发出一阵笑声，但仍有几个人愿意相信他的话。其中一人当那个助手经过时问她，“他已329岁了，这是真的吗?”他问。

　　“别问我，”助手说，“我只为他工作了150年。”

　　英语笑话儿童阅读范文

　　A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.

　　"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.

　　"I fall off my perch2 you fool!!" screeches3 the parrot.

　　有个人去宠物店买鹦鹉。在那里，他看见有只鹦鹉的左腿被红线系住，右腿则被绿线系住。对此他感到不解，于是他问该店的老板，老板回答说：“这只鹦鹉受过特殊的训练。如果拉红线，它就讲法语，拉绿线，它则讲德语。”

　　这个好奇的人接着问，“要是我两条线都拉，会怎么样呢?”

　　“我就会掉下来了，你这个傻瓜!!”鹦鹉尖叫着说。