简短的英语幽默笑话

　　“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面学习啦小编为大家带来简短的英语幽默笑话，欢迎大家阅读!

　　简短的英语幽默笑话1：

　　Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"

　　After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.

　　“Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily.

　　But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?”

　　丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。每天都有数千人经过他的门口，而且许多人都会停下来问他:“请问现在几点?”

　　几个月后，丹想:“我不想再回答这些蠢人提出的问题了，我要去买一只大钟，把它挂在这儿的墙上。”于是他买了一只钟，把它挂在了墙上。

　　“现在人们总不会再停下来问我时间了。”他高兴地想。

　　可是打那以后，每天仍有许多人停下来，看看钟，然后问丹:“这钟准吗?”

　　简短的英语幽默笑话2：

　　-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

　　-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

　　-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

　　他真是一个大人物

　　-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

　　-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?

　　-- 墓地守墓人。

　　简短的英语幽默笑话3：

　　A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.

　　"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

　　James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!"

　　"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...

　　"Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"

　　The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.

　　The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"

　　一个已婚男人去拜访他的“女朋友”时，女朋友要求他剃去胡须。

　　“噢，詹姆斯，我喜欢你的胡子，但我更喜欢看到你英俊的面孔。”

　　詹姆斯回答说，“我的妻子喜欢我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否则她会杀了我的。”

　　“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一种低沉的、性感的声音又一次说道。

　　“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜欢这胡子。”

　　在女朋友再三请求下，他终于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡时，詹姆斯爬上了床。

　　妻子朦朦胧胧地摸了摸他的脸说道，“噢，迈克尔，你不应该在这里，我的丈夫很快就要回来了。”

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